Wow. This is just a small portion of an epic post:
This resonates particularly with me because today is a very special day. Today is the day when a private company actually succeeded in giving me customer service as bad as that of a government agency. And not just any government agency. I’m talking about TSA-levels of sophistication*. I used to think that only the government was able to achieve the soul-crushing indifference to human suffering with which Tamerlane’s smiling hordes piled the skulls of their victims outside the gates of broken cities. Surely it must have taken the kind of massive research program that only a government could afford to have utterly perfected that exact combination of witless and ironclad which could neatly, and perfectly, frustrate all normal human desire. –Megan McArdle, Sears on my mind
Hmmm…from this excerpt, it sounds like you wrote it. :P